IFS Therapy and Identity: Exploring Your Inner System

Who Are You, Really?

Who are you when you're not performing, pleasing, overthinking, or numbing out?

That question can feel overwhelming—especially for those who’ve learned to adapt or shrink themselves to survive. In therapy, I often hear:

“I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“I feel like a different person depending on who I’m with.”
“I’ve spent so long being who others needed me to be, I lost myself.”

These aren’t identity crises. They’re identity awakenings.

And IFS therapy in NYC offers a powerful, non-pathologizing approach to explore and reclaim your full, authentic self.

You’re Not Just One Thing—And That’s a Good Thing

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy views identity as naturally multifaceted. Instead of chasing a “unified self,” IFS invites us to get to know our parts—the distinct inner roles, voices, or subpersonalities shaped by trauma, culture, attachment, and lived experience.

You might notice:

  • A part that longs to be seen, and one that fears being exposed

  • A driven part… and a deeply exhausted one

  • A part craving intimacy… and another that distrusts it

These parts aren’t flaws. They’re adaptations. And they deserve to be met with compassion and curiosity, not shame.

As The Atlantic explains, IFS invites us to “listen inward and build relationships with conflicting parts—not to eradicate them, but to heal them.”

Identity Work in IFS Therapy

In many models, identity is treated as a fixed label. IFS sees identity as relational and fluid—something we learn to understand, not define rigidly.

This approach is especially powerful for:

  • Clients navigating cultural or intergenerational trauma

  • LGBTQIA+ individuals unpacking internalized identity messages

  • Adults healing from religious trauma, codependency, or narcissistic family dynamics

  • High achievers exploring who they are beyond their performance or roles

Together, we explore:

  • Which parts dominate in work vs. relationships

  • Which “exiled” parts still carry emotional burdens

  • What inherited beliefs no longer serve you

  • How to lead from your Self—the calm, clear, compassionate center within you

Why New Yorkers Are Turning to IFS

In a fast-paced, performative city like NYC, it’s easy to lose connection with your core self. Many clients come to therapy feeling like they’re wearing masks in every setting—corporate, romantic, cultural, or familial.

IFS therapy helps you gently unblend from those roles, meet the parts of you that shaped them, and begin to lead life from a more grounded, authentic place.

Ready to Begin?

This isn’t about “fixing” you—it’s about finally meeting yourself.

If you’re feeling fragmented, unsure, or disconnected from who you really are, IFS therapy can help.

📍 I offer Internal Family Systems therapy via secure remote sessions, supporting clients across NYC and beyond.
🗓️ Private pay only – out-of-network benefits may apply.

👉 Book a virtual session with Tarynn Dier, LCSW PLLC


Link: https://www.madinamerica.com/2022/07/interview-richard-schwartz-ifs/

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